Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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