If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
