how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
