She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
