DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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