I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were trust falling into bushes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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