we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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