i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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