so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
