I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
