i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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