Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i think im in europe. pls send help
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