YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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