No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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