nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
