is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
