Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
