Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
