you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Soap is not a condiment
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
