Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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