They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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