im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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