Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
