if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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