bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
