I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
