I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
