laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
