We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
