you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
