clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
