apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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