so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
