CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
