I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
