At least make sure they are 18
Why
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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