The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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