Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
