The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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