You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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