that's an acceptable place to lick
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
