Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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