Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
