and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
