I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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