my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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