Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
