God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
