In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
