Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
